


off-road

by neverwhere (nekrateholic)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sort Of, hbd hongbin 2k18: a failed birthday project, jaehwan for 0.2 seconds, over time?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23721343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/neverwhere
Summary: At twenty-two, Hongbin runs into Hakyeon.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Hongbin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	off-road

**Author's Note:**

> my only explanation for the title is that it's late and [off-road](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djZMCulpcuU) by pentagon reminds me of nbin

At twenty-two, Hongbin runs into Hakyeon. He's with Jaehwan, they're about to fly out for their first trip together as a couple. The airport is loud but somehow the wheels of their suitcases are louder, like the sound of impending doom.

"Hey," Hakyeon says, his smile as bright as ever. "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Yeah," Hongbin smiles, a little crooked, a little awkward (Hakyeon told him it looks cute, years ago. Hongbin thought he's a filthy liar).

Hakyeon seems to not notice the awkwardness - he never really has. "We should get lunch together sometime! You can introduce me to your new friend too," he says, raising his eyebrows at Jaehwan, and then at their linked hands.

"Yeah, sure," Hongbin replies, forcing his smile to look less like a grimace. It's not hard - Hakyeon's mere presence has always been enough of a reason for him to smile.

Someone impatiently waves from the distance - a tall man, a vaguely cat-eyed look. Grumpy. "Sorry" Hakyeon huffs, nodding towards the man. "That's my cue. Talk to you soon, Binnie!"

"Talk to you soon," Hongbin repeats, even though he knows it's a lie.

"Who was that?" Jaehwan asks when Hakyeon is well out of earshot.

Hongbin guiltily realizes he'd forgotten Jaehwan was even there. But then comes the next obstacle: how does one explain Cha Hakyeon?

"He's... a friend. An old one," Hongbin ends up saying. It's not a lie.

But it's not the truth either, and Hongbin can see it in Jaehwan's eyes - he knows too.

*

Hakyeon and Hongbin grew up together, sort of. Their moms were friends and that somewhat forced them to be friends, too. Mostly, Hongbin grew up listening to things like  _ What is this chicken scrawl of yours Hakyeon writes so much better _ and  _ Look how nice Hakyeon is. Stop being so stubborn. _ Hongbin thought he hated him. He was sure of it, until he got into high school and somehow all his teenage hormones zeroed in on no other than Hakyeon.

Except Hakyeon was always out of his league and Hongbin knew that even at fourteen. It didn't really help.

*

He and Jaehwan break up a few months after the trip. Hongbin spends a few days fiercely hating Hakyeon for no particular reason. Meeting him was just a coincidence.

Hongbin and Jaehwan broke up because the little things that annoyed them became one too many. It's not even a bad break up, they're still friends. Or will be, once things settle.

Jaehwan starts dating another guy soon enough and Hongbin finds himself perfectly okay with that. He even helps Jaehwan pick out a present for their first month.

He's still thinking about Hakyeon, though.

*

It happened one fateful night, at sixteen, when Hongbin let Wonshik drag him to a party thrown by some college dude Hongbin doesn't know. He has a suspicion Wonshik didn’t know him either.

What's important was this: Hakyeon was there. And he was drunk off his ass.

Hongbin ended up having to half-carry-half-drag him home an hour later. (An hour of watching Hakyeon sloppily make out with half the party. To this day, Hongbin refuses to acknowledge whatever the feeling in his chest was.)

"Hongbinnie," Hakyeon had whined. He’d stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing Hongbin's face in his hands. "Your eyes are so pretty, Hongbinnie."

_ He's drunk, _ Hongbin remembers telling himself sternly, gently peeling Hakyeon's palms off himself. He remembers that feeling getting the better of him, too. "Did you tell that to all the guys you made out with?"

"That's such an ugly word," Hakyeon had mumbled, then stopped again. When Hongbin turned around, Hakyeon was looking at him with the kind of focused seriousness only a drunk person can have. Hongbin remembers that well. He remembers the words that came out of his mouth too, like it happened a mere day ago. 

"I only kissed them because I couldn't kiss you."

He was probably frozen for a while - that he doesn’t remember. But Hakyeon's  _ eyes. _ They were so  _ sad.  _

"But you can kiss me," Hongbin’s sixteen year old self had said, all of his teenage hormones rushing to his cheeks. Hakyeon, even drunk, looked so breathtaking in his disheveled hair and rumpled shirt. Hongbin had tried not to think about whose hands were responsible for that.

Hakyeon's hand had risen to rest on his hair, slowly petting the locks. "I really, really can't."

His eyes were so sincere for a moment. To this day, Hongbin isn’t sure if it hadn’t all been a ploy, that Hakyeon wasn’t really drunk. (Hakyeon had, at some point, tried to walk on his own and ran straight into a street lamp. But it  _ was  _ Hakyeon. You never know.)

Hongbin had only sighed and thrown Hakyeon's arm around his shoulders again. The road to their houses wasn't all that much, thank god. Part of him had hoped Hakyeon would have forgotten everything by the morning.

*

Hakyeon did forget everything in the morning. Hongbin found that out, somewhat disappointed, when he asked Hakyeon how he was the next morning - Hakyeon had replied he had no idea how he even got home.

Hongbin didn't push.

Hakyeon got accepted in some fancy dance academy in another city, moved out soon enough and that was that.

Hongbin got through high school, then applied for a university on the other side of the country much to his parents' horror. Got accepted, moved out, did his best to erase Cha Hakyeon from his life.

They didn't keep in contact.

And that was that.

*

Until Hongbin, at twenty-two, meets Hakyeon again. The second time within the same year.

He looks at Hakyeon's bag of groceries, his bright smile, suspicion etched in every fiber in his body. "Did you move back in town?"

"Yeah!" Hakyeon replies, ever so cheerful. His sad, hooded eyes from that night flash through Hongbin's mind. "It never really felt like home back there."

"Same," Hongbin mutters without even thinking. He's still looking at Hakyeon's groceries. "I kinda have to go, I have this... thing."

"Oh yeah, of course!" Hakyeon says and Hongbin thinks he's imagining the note of disappointment in his voice. "We really should get lunch together, though. I'll call you?"

"Okay," Hongbin nods, finally meeting Hakyeon's eyes. There's a flash of - sadness, regret - and then it's gone. "Okay," Hongbin repeats, staring somewhere behind Hakyeon's shoulder. "I'll be going, see you around."

He leaves before Hakyeon's dejected  _ Yeah  _ can reach his ears.

*

This time, Hakyeon does call. Hongbin is surprised to see that 1. he hasn't changed his number for the past seven years and 2. that Hongbin still has it saved, even though he changed his number quite a few times. The question about how Hakyeon obtained his number doesn't even cross his mind. It's a small town, their moms are still friends.

The lunch is scheduled for that day and Hongbin forces the anticipation back. It's nothing. They haven't been friends for a while now.

_ They haven't been friends for a while now,  _ he repeats to himself. He has nothing to lose.

"Do you remember that night when you got drunk before you graduated?" Hongbin says after the obligatory pleasantries are exchanged.

Hakyeon taps his chin in thought. "The one I didn't remember the next day? I still don't know how I got home."

Hongbin briefly considers dropping the subject.

But he's spent half of his post-Hakyeon life guessing - what if he had kissed Hakyeon, what if Hakyeon remembered,  _ what if. _ The other half was spent trying to convince himself he doesn't care.

He's done guessing.

"I brought you home," he ends up saying. Hakyeon almost coughs out his drink.

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You said you wanted to kiss me." Hongbin says instead of a reply.

Hakyeon just looks at him, thoughtful. "I did want to. I didn't know I'd told you, though." He meets Hongbin's eyes, stays quiet for a few more terrible seconds. Then sighs. "You were young. I wasn't much older but a few years can seem like a lifetime when you're in high school. I was going away, too. I couldn't do this to you."

Hongbin rolls his eyes, something else mixed with the anger flaring in his gut. He wants to argue but - Hakyeon is right. It would be foolish to think they would've lasted through seven years apart. Then again, the possibilities -

"I'm back now, though." Hakyeon says quietly.

Hongbin stares at him, shock overwhelming all other emotions. "Did you come back because of me?"

"Not entirely," Hakyeon shrugs. "You were definitely a factor, though. Are you dating that guy from the airport?"

"Not anymore," Hongbin replies, still stunned. What did just happen?

"Okay," Hakyeon says, the corners of his lifting up. "Because I'd really like to catch up."

Hongbin can feel his face burning, like he's sixteen all over again. He should've grown out of that, goddamn it.

“You can’t just waltz back into my life and expect everything to be the same like before, Hakyeon,” Hongbin forces himself to say. There’s something raw and angry inside him still, despite all the years. He’s not grown out of it. And seeing the logic behind what happened doesn’t help, not really. At best, it fizzles out the anger into bone-deep exhaustion.

Hakyeon frowns and for a moment, the brightness of his expression slips away. Under it, he looks just as tired as Hongbin feels.

“I’m not,” he smiles this time but it’s nothing like before. “It’s been years. What I was hoping for is a chance - to see if what we missed was worth it, to be friends again? To nothing, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t,” Hongbin says before he can stop himself. “It’s been seven years.”

“That it has,” Hakyeon agrees easily. “I can’t wait to hear about all wild uni stories”

Hongbin drops his face in his hands, groaning. Hakyeon's quiet laughter floats above him. A smile tugs on his lips and he allows it for now. Seven years ago, now, maybe seven years from now too, Hongbin will always prefer a smiling Hakyeon.


End file.
